Harf
Script shown with the Urdu

تمہیں دل لگی بھول جانی پڑے گی Tumhe Dillagi Bhool Jani Paregi — You Will Have To Stop Treating This As A Joke

Purnam Allahabadi

1940– 2009

Ghazal

Somebody is being played with, and they have given up asking to be treated better. What they do instead is issue a challenge, and then repeat it in every single couplet. Try it. Go and fall for somebody yourself. Then come back and tell me it is funny.

Purnam Allahabadi, the man who wrote Bhar Do Jholi Meri, spent most of his life in a single rented room off Anarkali in Lahore. Six couplets ahead, and not one of them asks to be loved back.

01  — tumhen dillagi bhool jaani padegi mohabbat ki raahon mein aa kar to dekho Matla · the opening

تمہیں دل لگی بھول جانی پڑے گی محبت کی راہوں میں آ کر تو دیکھو
تڑپنے پہ میرے نہ پھر تم ہنسو گے کبھی دل کسی سے لگا کر تو دیکھو

तुम्हें दिल-लगी भूल जानी पड़ेगी मोहब्बत की राहों में आ कर तो देखो
तड़पने पे मेरे न फिर तुम हँसोगे कभी दिल किसी से लगा कर तो देखो

tumhen dillagi bhool jaani padegi mohabbat ki raahon mein aa kar to dekho
tadapne pe mere na phir tum hansoge kabhi dil kisi se laga kar to dekho

You will have to stop treating this as a joke. Step onto the road of love just once and see. You will not laugh at me writhing any more — try attaching your heart to somebody, anybody, and see.

Dillagi means a joke, a bit of fun. But the word is made of dil, heart, and lagna, to attach. So the second line takes it apart and uses the pieces straight: dil kisi se laga kar, attach your heart to someone. The couplet ends by asking for the literal version of the word it opened with, and that one move carries the whole ghazal.

دل لگی dillagi
a joke, a flirtation, something not meant seriously — literally heart-attaching
تڑپنا tadapna
to writhe, to thrash about in pain
لگانا lagana
to attach, to fix one thing onto another

02  — vafaon ki ham se tavaqqo nahin hai magar ek baar aazma kar to dekho Another matla · both lines rhyme

وفاؤں کی ہم سے توقع نہیں ہے مگر ایک بار آزما کر تو دیکھو
زمانے کو اپنا بنا کر تو دیکھا ہمیں بھی تم اپنا بنا کر تو دیکھو

वफ़ाओं की हम से तवक़्क़ो नहीं है मगर एक बार आज़मा कर तो देखो
ज़माने को अपना बना कर तो देखा हमें भी तुम अपना बना कर तो देखो

vafaon ki ham se tavaqqo nahin hai magar ek baar aazma kar to dekho
zamane ko apna bana kar to dekha hamen bhi tum apna bana kar to dekho

You expect no loyalty from me. All right — but test me once and see. You have already tried making the whole world yours. Try making me yours too, and see.

Both lines rhyme here, the way the opening couplet does. A ghazal is allowed a second opening like this, and poets use it when they have one more thing to say at full strength before settling into the poem. The hurt is in the second line: they have spent their charm on everybody, and he is asking only to be counted in. Not to be the one. Just one more.

وفا vafa
loyalty; keeping faith with someone
توقع tavaqqo
expectation, what you count on from someone
آزمانا azmana
to test, to put to the proof
زمانہ zamana
the age, the world — everybody else

03  — khuda ke liye chhod do ab ye parda ki hain aaj ham tum nahin ghair koi

خدا کے لیے چھوڑ دو اب یہ پردہ کہ ہیں آج ہم تم نہیں غیر کوئی
شبِ وصل بھی ہے حجاب اس قدر کیوں ذرا رخ سے آنچل اٹھا کر تو دیکھو

ख़ुदा के लिए छोड़ दो अब ये पर्दा कि हैं आज हम तुम नहीं ग़ैर कोई
शब-ए-वस्ल भी है हिजाब इस क़दर क्यों ज़रा रुख़ से आँचल उठा कर तो देखो

khuda ke liye chhod do ab ye parda ki hain aaj ham tum nahin ghair koi
shab-e-vasl bhi hai hijaab is qadar kyun zara rukh se aanchal utha kar to dekho

For God's sake, drop the veil now — tonight it is you and me and nobody else. Why so much shyness even on the night we finally meet? Lift the cloth off your face, just a little, and see.

The situation changes completely here. Everything so far has been about being kept at a distance, and now the two of them are suddenly alone, on the shab-e-vasl, the night lovers finally get. And the veil is still up. Hijab does double duty: it is the cloth, and it is the shyness behind the cloth. One word holds both the thing and the feeling.

پردہ parda
a veil or curtain; also the whole practice of keeping apart
غیر ghair
an outsider, anyone who is not us
شبِ وصل shab-e-vasl
the night of union — the night the lovers finally meet
حجاب hijaab
a covering; and the shyness that keeps it in place
آنچل aanchal
the loose end of a dupatta, drawn across the face

04  — jafaen bahut kin bahut zulm dhaaye kabhi ik nigah-e-karam is taraf bhi

جفائیں بہت کیں بہت ظلم ڈھائے کبھی اک نگاہِ کرم اس طرف بھی
ہمیشہ ہوئے دیکھ کر مجھ کو برہم کسی دن ذرا مسکرا کر تو دیکھو

जफ़ाएँ बहुत कीं बहुत ज़ुल्म ढाए कभी इक निगाह-ए-करम इस तरफ़ भी
हमेशा हुए देख कर मुझ को बरहम किसी दिन ज़रा मुस्कुरा कर तो देखो

jafaen bahut kin bahut zulm dhaaye kabhi ik nigah-e-karam is taraf bhi
hamesha hue dekh kar mujh ko barham kisi din zara muskura kar to dekho

You have been unkind plenty of times and done plenty of damage. How about one kind look in this direction, for once? Every time you saw me you were annoyed. Some day, just smile instead, and see.

Nigah-e-karam is a fixed phrase, a glance given as a favour, the sort you ask of a king or of God. Using it on somebody who is merely annoyed by you is the joke. He is begging for the smallest thing there is, in the largest words available.

جفا jafa
unkindness, ill-treatment
ظلم ڈھانا zulm dhana
to inflict cruelty, to bring it down on someone
نگاہِ کرم nigah-e-karam
a glance of kindness — a favour handed down from above
برہم barham
annoyed, put out, ruffled

05  — jo ulfat mein har ik sitam hai gawaara ye sab kuchh hai paas-e-vafa tum se varna

جو الفت میں ہر اک ستم ہے گوارا یہ سب کچھ ہے پاسِ وفا تم سے ورنہ
ستاتے ہو دن رات جس طرح مجھ کو کسی غیر کو یوں ستا کر تو دیکھو

जो उल्फ़त में हर इक सितम है गवारा ये सब कुछ है पास-ए-वफ़ा तुम से वर्ना
सताते हो दिन-रात जिस तरह मुझ को किसी ग़ैर को यूँ सता कर तो देखो

jo ulfat mein har ik sitam hai gawaara ye sab kuchh hai paas-e-vafa tum se varna
satate ho din-raat jis tarah mujh ko kisi ghair ko yun sata kar to dekho

If I can bear every cruelty in this love, it is only because I am keeping faith with you. Otherwise — the way you torment me day and night, go and torment a stranger like that, and see what happens.

The only threat in the poem, and it is not really one. He does not say he will hit back. He says anyone else would have. Putting up with it gets presented as a decision he is still making rather than a thing being done to him. It is the last bit of standing he has.

الفت ulfat
love, fondness, attachment
ستم sitam
cruelty, a wrong done to someone
گوارا gawaara
bearable; something you are willing to put up with
پاسِ وفا paas-e-vafa
regard for one's own loyalty — keeping faith because you said you would

06  — agarche kisi baat par vo khafa hain to achchha yahi hai tum apni si kar lo Maqta · signed by the poet

اگرچہ کسی بات پر وہ خفا ہیں تو اچھا یہی ہے تم اپنی سی کر لو
وہ مانیں نہ مانیں یہ مرضی ہے ان کی مگر ان کو پرنمؔ منا کر تو دیکھو

अगरचे किसी बात पर वो ख़फ़ा हैं तो अच्छा यही है तुम अपनी सी कर लो
वो मानें न मानें ये मर्ज़ी है उन की मगर उन को 'पुरनम' मना कर तो देखो

agarche kisi baat par vo khafa hain to achchha yahi hai tum apni si kar lo
vo manen na manen ye marzi hai un ki magar un ko 'purnam' mana kar to dekho

So they are upset about something. Fine — best you do your bit anyway. Whether they come round is up to them. But Purnam, at least go and try to make peace, and see.

The closing couplet, where the poet writes his own name into the poem. And he turns the whole thing around. For five couplets he has been telling somebody else to try. Now he says it to himself, and this is the hardest dare of the set, because it is the one where you already know the answer might be no and you are told to go anyway.

اگرچہ agarche
although, even if
خفا khafa
annoyed with someone, cross
اپنی سی کرنا apni si karna
to do your own part, to do what is in your hands
منانا manana
to win someone round, to coax them out of a sulk

Reading it whole

A dare is a stronger position than a plea. The speaker never argues, never begs, and never once asks for anything in return. He only says try it. Try trusting me. Try smiling at me. Try being cruel to somebody who never agreed to put up with it. That is what is left after asking has already failed, and a dare has the advantage of being impossible to refuse without admitting you are afraid of it.

The title is the joke the whole poem runs on. Dillagi is the light word, a flirtation, something nobody is meant to take seriously, and underneath it sits dil, heart, with lagna, to attach. Even the dismissive word for love is made out of the heart. Then the first couplet asks for the literal version: call it dillagi, fine. Go and attach your heart to somebody and see how funny it stays.

Then the third couplet moves the whole poem somewhere else without warning. Suddenly the two of them are alone, on the night lovers finally get, and the veil is still up. Nothing before this suggested they were ever going to be in the same room. Each couplet stands alone, so the situation is free to change completely between one and the next, and nobody has to explain themselves.

And it finishes by turning the dare round on the poet himself. They are upset about something; fine, do your own bit anyway. Whether they come round is up to them. Purnam, at least go and try to make peace, and see. For five couplets somebody else was being challenged. Now he is the one being told to go, with no guarantee of an answer, and the poem ends on that small, unglamorous request.

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's recording runs a little over sixteen minutes and treats the couplets as places to launch from. His nephew Rahat Fateh Ali Khan has sung it many times since. In 2016 a recreated version appeared with entirely new Hindi lyrics by somebody else, which is one reason searching for this poem online turns up so much that is not this poem.

How it rhymes

Every second line closes on the same word — کر تو دیکھو , kar to dekho. That repetition is the radif. The rhyme falling just before it is the qafiya: The long -a that lands just before the refrain: aa, laga, aazma, bana, utha, muskura, sata, mana. Hearing the two land together at the close of every sher is most of what makes this form sound the way it does.

Recordings

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All 128 poems, A to Z

Text and rights

Devanagari text supplied and checked by a reader who knows the language. The Urdu script and the transliteration follow that reading.

Sung versions differ in how many couplets they use and in what order. This is the poem as written, not a transcript of any one recording.

Purnam Allahabadi died in 2009, so this poem is still in copyright. It is quoted here as the subject of Harf's own criticism: the translation, the reading of each couplet and the essay around them are original work written for this page. If you hold the rights and would like something changed, tell us on Instagram.