میرا دل بھی کتنا پاگل ہے Mera Dil Bhi Kitna Pagal Hai — My Heart, Too, Is So Mad

Sameer

1958– living

Geet

A man is describing his own heart as if it were a troublesome child. My heart is so mad, he says, it loves you, and then the moment you appear, it is afraid to say anything at all. The song is the report of that contradiction, and the heart is the subject of the report, spoken about in the third person like a patient or a pet.

Sameer wrote it for Saajan in 1991, and Kumar Sanu sang it over Nadeem-Shravan's music. Three passages ahead. Each one adds a new charge against the heart, and each charge is a different way of saying the same thing: it loves you, and it cannot tell you.

01 — mera dil bhi kitna pagal hai

میرا دل بھی کتنا پاگل ہے
یہ پیار تو تم سے کرتا ہے
پر سامنے جب تم آتے ہو
کچھ بھی کہنے سے ڈرتا ہے
او میرے ساجن، او میرے ساجن
ساجن ساجن میرے ساجن

मेरा दिल भी कितना पागल है
ये प्यार तो तुमसे करता है
पर सामने जब तुम आते हो
कुछ भी कहने से डरता है
ओ मेरे साजन, ओ मेरे साजन
साजन साजन मेरे साजन

mera dil bhi kitna pagal hai
ye pyaar toh tum se karta hai
par saamne jab tum aate ho
kuchh bhi kahne se darta hai
o mere sajan, o mere sajan
sajan sajan mere sajan

My heart is so mad: it loves you, yes, but when you stand in front of it, it is afraid to say anything. Oh my beloved, oh my beloved, beloved, beloved, my beloved.

The passage states the heart's condition in its two halves. Pyaar toh karta hai, it does love you, and darta hai, it is afraid: the rhyme makes the two verbs one condition, love and fear as the same motion. The heart is spoken about in the third person, pagal, it, which is the song's method, and the refrain that follows, sajan, beloved, repeated, is the only direct address in the whole song, and it is a word, not a sentence.

سجن sajan: the beloved

02 — kitna isko samjhaata hoon

کتنا اسکو سمجھاتا ہوں
کتنا اسکو بہلاتا ہوں
نادان ہے کچھ نہ سمجھتا ہے
دن رات یہ آہیں بھرتا ہے

कितना इसको समझाता हूँ
कितना इसको बहलाता हूँ
नादान है कुछ ना समझता है
दिन रात ये आहें भरता है

kitna isko samjhaata hoon
kitna isko bahlaata hoon
naadaan hai kuchh na samajhta hai
din raat ye aahien bharta hai

So much I explain to it, so much I soothe it. It is innocent, it understands nothing, day and night it fills itself with sighs.

The passage is the heart's behaviour report, and the report is written in the verbs of a parent with a difficult child. Samjhaana and bahlaana, to explain and to soothe, are the two tools of the adult, and both fail: the heart is naadaan, innocent, which is the song's word for beyond teaching. The last line, aahien bharta hai, it fills itself with sighs, is the report's verdict, and the sighs are the sound of everything the man cannot say.

بہلانا bahlaata: soothes, distracts out of a mood
نادان naadaan: innocent, with no sense of things yet

03 — har pal mujhko tarpata hai

ہر پل مجھکو تڑپاتا ہے
مجھے ساری رات جگاتا ہے
اس بات کی تمکو خبر نہیں
یہ صرف تمہی پہ مرتا ہے

हर पल मुझको तड़पाता है
मुझे सारी रात जगाता है
इस बात की तुमको ख़बर नहीं
ये सिर्फ तुम्हीं पे मरता है

har pal mujhko tarpata hai
mujhe saari raat jagaata hai
is baat ki tumko khabar nahin
ye sirf tumhin pe marta hai

It torments me every moment, it keeps me awake all night. You do not know this thing: it dies only for you.

The passage is the report's last charge, and it is the one that turns the song. Tarpaana and jagaana, tormenting and keeping awake, are the heart's nightly work, and the couplet that follows delivers the information the whole song has been withholding: is baat ki tumko khabar nahin, you do not know this. The confession, sirf tumhi pe marta hai, it dies only for you, is handed over in the third person, which is the song's final act: the man has said the words, and the heart has taken the blame.

خبر khabar: news; knowing that a thing is so

Reading it whole

The song is a love confession with the confession itself as the problem. The heart is mad, pagal, and the madness has a precise shape: it loves the beloved and it cannot speak to her. The song never once lets the man address the beloved directly. It is spoken about the heart, to the beloved, and the detour is the song's whole strategy: the heart is blamed for what the man cannot do.

The second passage is the heart's behaviour report. However much I explain to it, however much I soothe it, it understands nothing, it sighs day and night. The passage's verbs are all the verbs of helplessness, samjhaata, bahlaata, and the heart's answer is ahaien, the sighs. The comedy of the song is that the man and the heart are the same person, and the song knows it.

The third passage is the report's last charge, and it is the one that makes the song a love song rather than a comedy. It torments me every moment, it keeps me awake all night, and you do not know this, but it is dying only for you. The last line is the confession the whole song has been refusing, sirf tumhi pe marta hai, and it is handed to the heart, not to the man, which is the song's final trick: the blame is the confession.

Kumar Sanu's voice, with the film's love triangle, made the song one of the defining recordings of the Nineties, and the refrain, mera dil bhi kitna pagal hai, became the decade's shorthand for the lovesick. It is the plainest kind of love song, and its plainness is the point: the heart that cannot speak is described in words anyone can say.

Recordings

Kumar Sanu

From Saajan (1991), composed by Nadeem-Shravan.

Text and rights

Devanagari text supplied and checked by a reader who knows the language. The Urdu script and the transliteration follow that reading.

The song is from the film Saajan (1991), composed by Nadeem-Shravan, lyrics Sameer. The refrain returns between passages in the recording more often than it is printed here.

Sameer is alive and the song is recent work. It is quoted here as the subject of Harf's own criticism: the translation, the reading of each passage and the essay around them are original work written for this page. If you hold the rights and would like something changed, tell us on Instagram.